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1. Adam should have known better than to perform with a drag queen who called herself 'Queef Richards.' 2. If you came of age in the 80s, it's probably best not to let your kids see your prom pictures. 3. Never send a drag queen and a sissy with too much eyeliner to fix a warp core breach. 4. ...
Other
1. "Aunt Katie, you always dance dirty whenever they play 'Doll Parts.' Is there something about your lost weekend with Courtney Love you're not telling us?" 2. "You can stop dancing, Katie. That 'news report' that Glenn Beck has terminal butt cancer turned out to be another DailyKos internet ...
Other
Katie Couric
Glenn Beck
1. "A salute, how cute. Now down on your knees and kneel before your god!" 2. "Nice ass." 3. Valium enemas keep you smiling even while your country collapses around you. 4. Crystal Meth: The Fresh Maker 5. In Andrew Sullivan's fantasy, the action goes a lot further.
Other
Andrew Sullivan
Brender 1. "I had no idea Klingon females enjoyed being fisted." 2. "I see limp posturing coupled by weakness. Your opponents laugh at your attempts to feign strength and resolve. But enough about your foreign policy..." 3. "When I think about the lack of skin in New Moon, I just get so ...
Other
1. "Sounds like those faggots from Glee are singing 'Single Ladies' again." 2. "If your quarterback can't resist the urge to vogue at the start of every play, you can look forward to an 0-11 season" --- Football for the Modern Coach, p. 127. 3. "The people in the stands appear to be urging me ...
Other
Al 1. Chang just caught a whiff of PBO's leadership. 2. Seaman Takei tries to keep a straight face while contemplating the homonym qualities of his rank. 3. Little did Morpheus expect Agent Smith to morph out of a Chinese sailor. 4. Not wanting to shame all of China, Seaman Chang tries to ...
World
China
Brender 1. Sarah Palin's base as imagined by most of the anchors as MSNBC. 2. Still, it's more sophisticated than the commentary you get from Keith Olbermann. 3. Lover's quarrels in Enumcaw can get pretty ugly. 4. Another feminist spit-take brought to you by the success of Sarah Palin's ...
White House
Sarah Palin
Keith Olbermann
Buzzfeed 1. AoM's kid spends a lot of time in the principal's office. 2. "What? I lost to the Smell My Farts kid? F Affirmative Action!" 3. Billy won first prize for being smart enough to preempt Barney Frank's busy, busy hands. 4. "I got the idea when Mrs. LaTourneau asked me to help with ...
Congress
Barney Frank
1. Now, that's a fart. 2. Light in his loafers ... all time champion. 3. La-Z-Boy presents a chair stuffed with the contents of Levi Johnston's head. 4. "Ma! The aliens are abducting me again!" 5. "Dammit, Yoda, put me down. I'm sorry I said you looked like a green turd."
Other
Goths in hot weather 1. Happy Meals would be wasted on these people. Oxygen is wasted on these people. 2. People who definitely will not be buying Sarah Palin's book are often easy to spot. 3. "Oh, look over there, Pat Boone is slitting his wrists with a spork over what America has become." ...
White House
Sarah Palin
via Buzzfeed 1. As one can see, Barry Sortero's narcissism began at a very young age. 2. Little did young Barry Soetero know that his 6th grade science project would win him the 2010 Nobel Prize for Chemistry. 3. Young Barry Soetero was at a loss to explain why his farts smelled like the ...
Other
Chris Matthews
1. "Why am I wearing quilted surgical scrubs and Starfleet boots to a Memorial service? Because I loaned my flaming pink "f-ck-me" pumps to Barney Frank, that's why." 2. "Don't you criticize my fashion sense you chalk-faced whore!" 3. Illustration from the forthcoming children's book The ...
Congress
Barney Frank
Brender 1. "Hey, there's some cocaine on your shoe." 2. "In my fantasy, he bows the other way," --- Andrew Sullivan. 3. "Oops. my bad, Emperor. For a minute, I thought you were George Soros." 4. "Does this look like head lice?" 5. "I'm not bowing intentionally, it's just that I have ...
Other
Andrew Sullivan
Fred Miranda 1. "I hate the way they pick on Carrie Prejean. Hold me, Bruce." 2. "I always dreamed I'd be in your strong, manly arms when the world ended." "Mike, 2012 is just a movie." 3. "Maybe taking three hits of Ecstasy before the game wasn't such a great idea." 4. "My TiVo deleted Ugly ...
Other
Fred Miranda 1. A rapidly aging Madonna must resort to desperate measures to snag a man these days. 2. Colorado State absolutely hated playing against Tholian U. 3. Once again, Canadian football rules prove very confusing. 4. Spiderman had a lot of money riding on Colorado not beating the ...
